Dear daneames:

Humans being empaths is a natural thing, in other animals as well, dogs, others. It really is not anything unusual and definitely not abnormal. It is encoded in our genes as the social animals that we are to be influenced by how others feel. I hope I am not taking away from you feeling… special, taking on the term empaths and saying it is a thing of nature, evolution through millions of years.

Being apathetic toward yourself while empathetic toward others, I am very familiar with that. Physically we have eyes that see others (unless we are facing a mirror)- so we … see others continuously, not ourselves.

When I see another’s pain, I really see my own pain projected to the other. Not that the other is not feeling pain- but I am unable to feel anyone’s pain but my own. the best I can put it is when I feel another’s pain, I feel my own pain which I imagine that the other is feeling. Everything I feel is MY feeling.

It has taken me many years to feel empathy for myself. Decades, really. I felt for others, not for myself. Or so I thought. When you janeames, feel another’s pain, think to yourself, if you will, what is this pain I am feeling? How is the little girl in me relating to this pain I see in the other person? How was she hurt and is reminded/ re-experiencing this pain right now?

anita