At that point she is not ready for anyone’s help least of all yours.

This really resonates. She mentioned at some point that she doesn’t want any help and thinks that the way I help “doesn’t work for her.” The biggest issue is that she would constantly try to connect and chat and “catch up” (she asked me for my spaghetti sauce recipe at some point in our talking) and it just feels very “mixed message”-esque to the point where I get the impression that she wants to chat and talk about stuff, and be friends, and then she expresses she wants to make changes so my immediate response when friends say that is to talk about that change and interact in a way to help facilitate that in any way I can. I usually do it well, but I feel like our history doesn’t really allow me to do that because I recognize that if this one barrier was overcome by her, her inability to communicate and have depth with me, that we would get back together and be happy because everything else outside of her immaturity is what I want in a partner. That knowledge puts me into “fix it” mode when she talks about making changes and then she get annoyed and upset with the way I try and do that. I really think she just isn’t ready at this point to make big changes. I just can’t interact with her as a friend if that is the case then because in my opinion, friends help each other and ask for help and interact in that kind of way and that doesn’t seem to be something she wants or is capable of having with me.