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Dear delyth:
All you can do now is take one little step at a time now and the next moment and the next. Look a short distance in front of you: see where you are and only the very next small distance in front of you. Do one small thing at a time. Have no other expectations of yourself. Accept where you are, how you are and what happened as the very unjust history that it is. And here you are. Where you are. The way you are. And make the best of it, one little step at a time, be it showering, preparing a nutritious meal for yourself, sending a loving message to your son. One little thing at a time, one day at a time, to start again tomorrow, if tomorrow comes. Take nothing for granted. Every moment is an opportunity for a little bit of living a little better.
anita