Der David:

Thank you for your honest feedback to me. After I sent you the message above I thought to myself that again, I was too rough, my tendency. I need to be more gentle and in being gentle see MORE into what things are. So what I see more, I hope, this very morning is that a physical relationship with someone, in real life, that is, is not necessarily a REAL relationship as two individuals can be so stuck in their wishful thinking, unrealistic thinking and expectations that even a real-life relationship can be delusional and doomed to fail from the start. On the other hand an electronic, skype and such/ non physical relationship can entail realistic aspects, real, honest exchange of feelings. Of course it can, be as real as can be.

If it was not, I wouldn’t be real on this website with you and with others. Here I am typing this right now and I am being real with you and with the readers, none of which I ever met in person. So I was wrong in my previous comment to you. I was also arrogant, limited in my view and kind of proud of it (arrogant, that is).

From reading your comment to me I am thinking it is possible that this young woman is kind hearted and scared to hurt you, scared you will make the travel investment and be disappointed. What I would do if I was you, David, now that I am more humble than I was last evening, is communicate with her some MORE through… electronics, same way you have so far and ask her questions. Ask her, get the details of her motivation for not wanting you to visit her and her motivation for wanting you to visit her (her ambivalence, conflict). For many people, like me, it is easier to communicate online, as I am doing right now, than it is in person. It is easier that way. I would be afraid too, if I was her.

So please, do not travel to see her at this point, I feel strongly it would be a bad idea. Get to know her MORE, get to know her thinking and feeling as it comes to seeing you. Let her know first that you are NOT going to meet in person, so that her fears can relax, then ask the questions, and stay with them then answer. Let her ask you questions. Get to know the fears and then move forward.

anita