Hello David! Your situation seems painful and I’m sorry that this feels difficult when you dont know what to do. It’s therefore better that you asked for advice! Correct me if I’m mistaken because I dont know anything about your life literally. I can tell that clearly for me both of you want to spend time together from what you been written about this.

She doesnt seem to know how her contact needs to be with you, this uncertainty in both of you arises. You want to be closer in how you want to get close and she doesnt seem to know how she wants to get to know you (from what I know in this info youve given). There are many factors to why a person thinks and acts in several ways. What I know for sure is that if there’s no open communication between the people involved you don’t have and opportunity to try to get to know each other directly.

Before anything I think when you mention that you feel desperation you need to listen to that. There’s a reason you feel fear and it might be more ways to see on this situation than you know for now. If you act on your thoughts and feelings without understanding them there’s a possibility that you act in a way which might not be helpful for you, for her, for both of you.

Do you know why you feel desperation? you have your thoughts that you feel fearful of but why do you feel frightened of the thoughts? I dont mean to dismiss your thoughts that you fear, I ask questions as if you were to explore yourself when you have an opportunity. As for now perhaps you not knowing what you can do might be one of the answers also(?) it’s for your very best to let yourself feel unsure if youre feeling it and try not do anything you dont feel so sure of. This isn’t easy at all, of course you want to resolve this when you care but as the others here who have been trying to help in this topic I agree with them. Wait it out, try to take care of yourself, you’ll know when you know. The very best.