Hey Sap,

I learned this the hard way. It doesnt really matter whose problem it is. You can simply adjust from your end and cant force her to magically become a different person. Yeah, one thing that can be done is be understand your motivation for working there. I remember being in tears often and angry all the time. Eventually after a super pleasant interlude where she unfairly threatened to replace me, i decided that i was giving way too much power to this woman over my mental peace. I had two choices – either stay or quit. The former wasnt possible and i gave it a thought – whats my motivation for this? I realized absolutely none. At best, I secretly craved for appreciation or atleast some kind of acknowledgment from their end.

But i understood that i was getting way too personal and it was affecting my mental peace. Yeah, i always had low self-esteem and every criticism felt like a stab to the heart. I know it sounds silly but thats what it was. Then i concluded that i need to calm down and simply tap into an old resource – my desire to do work well for my sake. Over time, i became least concerned with what the work reflected of me as a person and rather became concerned with doing the work well – if someone suggested improvements that were required, i went ahead calmly and never let them have the luxury of shaking me up. I stopped letting my whole insecurities getting in the way of every comment, suggestion. Maybe that weekend of getting high helped haha. I think i got some strange clarity 😛

From then on, I remember often going to the bathroom and doing power poses to feel better. Another practise was disconnecting from office when i went home – a proper de-stress hour or two before bed. However, if you really feel unhappy and feel like you’ve exhausted all options from your end, then its better to look for other opportunities.

As for when to decide what, thats truly up to you.