Dear Jessica:

I can’t help doubting your existence. I wrote to you like it is. Look back at what I wrote: IF you are Jessica then you are a positively a very unique young woman. Unique in your THINKING: through all your posts and emails to me, you always pointed correctly to your mother as the one guilty, guilty of abusing you. You KNEW throughout that you are not guilty for any of the abuse inflicted upon you.

This is what is so unique about you. Never have I met an abused child, or an adult that was abused as a child, never, ever did I encounter such in person who CONSISTENTLY and always pointed the finger- correctly- at the abuser and away from themselves, the abused.

The hallmark of child abuse is that the child takes the blame, believes himself or herself to be inadequate, not good enough, somehow guilty, responsible for the abuse inflicted on him or her. And the child sees the parent in the best light (incorrectly) no matter how horrible the abuse. There is always denial and minimization of the abuse by the abused child, and later by the adult who was abused, at least at times. There is none in your posts.

This is what is so very, very one in a million unique about you.

Let me leave you with this, then: you are one in a million. Take this knowing that you are innocent of the abuse you suffer, that indeed, it is true, as you know, that your mother is guilty of abusing you, all the guilt is truly hers.

Now run with this truth= run away from her. There is nothing to hold you there. With that kind of clarity that you have, you can .. make a very good life for yourself. There is NO REASON, none whatsoever, with your clarity, to withstand one more hour, one more day in the presence of a sadistic, violent, highly abusive woman.

Take good care of yourself.
anita