Dear jgold:

You can tell her that you sometimes need me time, that sometimes you don’t feel like talking and you need to be alone. That is the truth. It is probably true for her too. Sometimes she needs me time as well and sometimes when someone wants to talk to her, SHE doesn’t feel like it.

So you tell her your truth at any one time. If she asks, so “How do I know when you feel like talking and when you do not?” Then you answer: Ask and I will tell you. You can also say to her: “I definitely, almost always, do not want to talk after this particular time or day, so you protect yourself from interruptions from this time to that time each day.

Be assertive, not passive (talking to her when you don’t want) and not aggressive (that would be calling her names, telling her there is something wrong with her and that she shouldn’t have the desire to talk to you… these are examples)-

Just assertive- honor yourself and her. But yourself first.

anita