Dear Kaushambi:

There is no question in my mind that you are extremely attached to your mother. That does not mean there is no true love between you. The evidence in true love on her part is that she told you that you must FIRST learn to keep yourself in best possible condition. How you show yourself true love is to keep yourself in best possible condition … because you believe that you are very important. Believing that you, Kaushambi, your own well being is as or more important than anyone’s.

If you believe that you should keep yourself in best condition not so you can be more helpful to your mother but because your well being is AS important -or more important, in your own mind- as the well being of your mother.

This is an important point that if you take it in slowly, can make a big difference in your life: when your mother is in distress, think not only about HER distress, think also about YOUR own distress (at being distressed about her) and feel empathy not only for her, but empathy for yourself.

Your first responsibility is to yourself. If you lose yourself, neglect yourself, sacrifice yourself on an ONGOING basis in the name of LOVE to another, it is not love. If it takes AWAY from you, on an ongoing basis, stop IT, whatever it is.

anita

anita