this is me asking me (because someone should): So, what is it that you were afraid of and now realize it ALREADY happened?

this is me answering:

1) I woke up this morning being 54 years old (how the … did that happen)?
More about 1: I woke up this morning to see wrinkles on my face that will not go away except in dim light. I woke up this morning with cellulite…. I woke up this morning with grey hair… I woke up this morning and I am no longer a child, a teenager, a young adult in my 20s, a 30+, a 40+. I woke up this morning and in the best case scenario I have way less life to live than at any other time in the past. I woke up this morning and my digestive system doesn’t work as well as it used to.

2) If I was told before I was born that I was going to be born to a woman that will HURT me, again and again, purposefully, with malice, WANTING to hurt me- I would be scared to death about being born to that woman. Guess what? It already happened.

3) If I was told that my childhood would be wasted on being sick, mentally unwell, I would be so sad and scared of the prospect of living it. It already happened.

4) If I was told that my teenage years, my 20s, my 30s, my 40s will be wasted on sickness and I will not get a redo, I’d be scared to death. It already happened.

5) My fear of feeling pain, great emotional pain… it already happened- and I survived it. The emotional pain did not kill me. And it already happened.

6) When I fear what is yet to happen, that fear I feel about the future, already happened at the time I was fearing the future.

anita