Dear voicewriter:

Crying on a Saturday night… I can almost hear you crying somewhere out there. I cried many Saturday nights, when I was young, that was when many of the girls who had boyfriends were out on the town and i was alone, Saturday night after Saturday night… endless lonely times. I wanted then what you want right now, we never grow out of wanting to love and be loved…

It is clear that no contact is the thing to respect, respect his wishes no matter how you feel. Respecting him is the opposite of abusing him, so don’t get this one wrong- first and foremost respect him now and always, do not contact him.

About learning, how about not getting into a relationship at all with a man who does not meet your financial expectations of him. Find out before getting involved, the financial situation of the man. This will prevent hurting the man for what he cannot help and it will be easier for you.

I don’t know why you turned to be a person you were not before, why with this guy.. it really was not fair to him, he can’t help not having money and he can’t help not having the sexual character that you need. He can’t help it.

So, find out about the money first. Then the sexual stuff, I suppose you have to be with a man that way to find out…

You are lonely tonight and you miss some of what you had with your ex boyfriend. That is understandable. Something is better than nothing.

But since for whatever reason you turned into an abusive person as a result of this particular relationship, then that is a clear indication that it should have been ended. You did the right thing ending it, and a better thing not to have started it to begin with, after finding out he is not financially secure.

Do you think in what I wrote here there is some of the learning stuff? there is more, of course.

anita