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To me his answer itself was even manipulative because it is apart of this hot and cold trend. He has been doing this for over a year trying to string me along and when I say no he will usually reconsider his position and want to try out our relationship again.
I am glad I said those things as well because it expresses a bit of who I was before I was so broken down. Not someone who is cruel but someone who refuses to put up with bullshit.
The coldness isn’t so much anger, I think it has more to do with me being fed up. I don’t hate him and I don’t wish anything bad upon him even though I know he will receive his karma for what he has put me through. I don’t even want revenge, I just want him to stay where he is and leave my heart out of this business. He doesn’t even know what he wants and I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants to be in a relationship with me in a couple of months. I wont rejoice when his life begins to crumble and the sad part is I already see it happening. He just dropped out of school and he is continuing the weed smoking and I believe he is setting himself up for these things to happen. I am very compassionate so I feel like it will be a bit difficult for me to watch him cry out to me and not react in a loving way, maybe I will be strong enough to help him but not to want a romantic relationship with him at that point.
This psychic was spot on about everything ! She told me things about myself that I have never said aloud to anyone. And at first of course there were things that didn’t make the most sense but over time as I stayed in the relationship I knew exactly what she referring too. She told me that my ex would say that he has an insatiable appetite and a few months later while discussing why he treats me the way he does he told me “that he cant stop”. I thought the two really connected. I could go back to her but she has pretty much told me everything I need to know and she also recorded the reading for me so that I could revisit to search for clues or answers pertaining to my life.
I do mean it when I said I don’t want to see him or speak to him ever again but i do understand my feelings may change overtime. I feel like I really need to put my foot down because he never takes me seriously enough. Even if it is for a year of no contact what so ever, that is what I need to do to be taken seriously.
Initially my conversation with him made him sad because he essentially manipulated me into believing that he wanted to get back together and I have a very short lived hope of that happening. I do believe that he does want me to be in his life but it isn’t the time for him. I am just not willing to be put on the back burner while he goes and enjoys the luxuries of being single while having me to fall back on. He is a contradiction and at one point he is saying he is focused on getting somewhere in his life and want us to take things slow with me yet doesn’t have the time or attention to be my boyfriend but has the time to entertain other girls and go out and smoke weed? Priorities ? I think not.
If he does end up trying to win me over which I believe he will do in time I believe it will all boil down too whether I really want to explore that road again. I have become so much stronger and I realize that around him I instantly feel weak and that can’t be a good feeling. I will be a lot stronger also by that point and their is a huge possibility that I might not even want to entertain this person anymore and politely decline.
It is actually funny because I got on the phone with the friend that he reached out too after my exchange with him and while I was speaking I got a phone call from a blocked number. My new phone number is not given out to a lot of people , mostly very close friends and family so I do believe it was him calling me since he always does this. I really don’t hate him I just feel very tired of his B.S.
I also am realizing that my love is beginning to have a limit. I can’t continue to love someone that hurts me at every chance he gets.And most importantly I am beginning to also see him as the crazy person that he is ! Everything he does it just completely insane and throughout it all he still believes he a good guy! CRAZY!