Dear Jenny:

I am glad you chose to start this thread. I read your original post here but not the reply right above. I noticed the following. In the middle of the original post you wrote: “Throughout our relationship he would sit down and talk with me, asking me for reassurance that everything between him and I was ok…and even though deep down inside I knew that it wasn’t, I continued to tell him that we we’re fine, that everything was great.”

You didn’t reach out for him to help you by sharing with him what was troubling you. You kept it to yourself. As if you could only tell him positive things or nothing at all. For a relationship to work you have to communicate all the good, the bad and the ugly. You have to tell him what is not so “pretty” about your thoughts and feelings. If he is a good man, then he will love you for being honest, authentic and vulnerable, that is… strong enough and daring enough to appear weak.

And at the end, you wrote: ” I take responsibility for how I failed to understand him…how I failed to prevent his suffering…how I failed him as a friend…a partner…”

Maybe, you failed to make it possible for him to understand you… maybe you failed to ease your suffering by reaching out to him…maybe you failed to allow him to be a better friend to you.

Do you relate to any of what I wrote above?

anita