Hey, I am worried about you, being emotional in your last post. I wish I was there to help calm you. It is important to calm down strong emotions before deciding on action. A hot bath, maybe? Some activity to calm yourself that is not self destructive… exercise, stretching or the easiest for me… a hot bath. Your best chances for sensible action is when you are calm enough, not perfectly calm, just not crazy-distressed.

Take ten hot baths if need be.

And I do think you need to get out of this abusive situation as soon as possible. Even going to a shelter for battered women (I was once in such and it was … delightful, I mean it) may be a good idea.

If there is such a place… where you can be in a safe place and get the in-person help you need….

If you call and just go there with one change of clothing… or otherwise get calm…

anita