Dear Jessie:

What I can’t see beyond in your original post, the elephant in the room for me, is what you wrote: “he’s a functioning alcoholic that I avoid when drunk (4-5 days a week)” If a man, a husband, is drunk 4-5 days a week, this is most of the time, on a regular basis. I don’t see any way to have a relationship with a man who is intoxicated regularly most of the time. It simply does not allow a relationship. So, as long as this is the case, there is no possibility, nothing. It is a lost cause.

I think you feel some responsibility for his drinking…? Do you feel he gets drunk because of you? Does he suggest that to you?

anita