If a pregnancy is “unstable” people are generally hesitant to say anything about it–I’ve had friends who lost their babies in the 7th and 8th months. Also, afterwards is generally a very busy time. However, if someone is dating a person for four years, their friends will know. It looks to me like the feeling is not mutual in this relationship–maybe she doens’t want to be rude and tell you in a straight way and is ending up being more inconsiderate by doing this other stuff to you.

If someone wants to interact with you, they will find a way. Eventually. That’s what I’ve come to realize.