Dear Adam:

I just read Dina’s post to you, re-read your post before hers and this last post. I think Dina’s post is excellent; it made me see beyond what I was seeing before: I see that her motivation when she teased you at the beginning of the relationship can be very different than her motivation in the last going on at work. Also, Dina’s suggestion of what may be motivation your girlfriend with the guy at work makes sense as a real possibility: wanting to tell you everything, leaving nothing. Then I read in your last post about what your girlfriend said to you and that makes some difference in my percetption.

What puzzles me though is that you wrote you didn’t feel such insecurity, jealousy about another guy before your relationship with this girlfriend. Maybe it is so because she is Muslim which means you see a lifetime commitment here.

At any rate, with any problem in a relationship, if she does something that hurts you, and it is reasonable to expect her to stop or change that particular behavior, it is your job to tell her, and it is her job to hear you and stop the behavior that hurts you. And the other way around.

Post again, if you’d like!

anita