@newlife123: Thank you again. I guess with previous relationships I’d never felt so attached or liked the girl as much as I do now. Also past girlfriends haven’t really tried to make me jealous in that way either – when she’d talked about the guy at the beginning of our relationship, it’d always make me question and maybe that’s where my insecurities stemmed from – like I said even hearing his name now can still make my heart drop. I’ve always felt like I fear commitment though, whenever a relationship got past the 6+ months stage I’d always question if I really like her? If she’s who I want? I’d search for the wrongs and I guess knowing that there’s a lifetime commitment here probably makes me question more and feel even more frightened.

She’s always been sure though – she tells me how she’s lucky to have found someone like me and she’d want nothing more than to have me as her life partner. That’s why she’d make me jealous at the beginning because I’d always shut down the marriage conversation and always remind her that ‘it was just abit of fun’ whereas she’d always wanted more.

That’s the other thing; I’ve spoke to her about it and she’s promised to change her ways like I said in my last post – she’s told me she realises she doesn’t need anyone else and she understands how no boyfriend would enjoy hearing about another guy so much.
My trouble is forgiveness. How do I look past it all? How do I stop the insecure medley thoughts in my head? Ive turned it into such a big deal in my head that I find it hard to look past – to the point where I’d think about it even when with her.
I’ve told her I forgive her in the past, a week or two passes and we repeat the whole argument again. I’m tired of it and I can’t begin to imagine how she feels knowing she’s never had feelings for any of these guys yet I’m picking on her because of it.
Funny thing is if it was the other way round, she’d have no issues in forgiving me.

@seekingsatisfaction I’d love to hear more from you if you don’t mind – your perspective really helped too.

What would you say about her wanting to keep the item? When I told her it bothered me she asked if I wanted her to throw it away but again, I made it out like it didn’t bother me and didn’t want to sound like the controlling boyfriend. In my eyes, she knew it bothered me and she should’ve taken the steps to throw it away, not ask me.

Thank you again,
Adam