Dear Adam:

I think there is a connection between your fear of commitment and your obsession over the Other Guy, whomever he may be, in your girlfriend’s mind. You wrote above that in past relationships, past the 6+ months, you started thinking (obsessing?) over what is wrong with the girl or the relationship. This may be similar here: it is getting closer to commitment and you are scared, so you focus on something, could be anything, that is wrong so…to give yourself the reason to back off from the danger you see ahead: commitment.

If you give it some thought, when you are calm (for best thinking), and if you would like, write here more about your fear of commitment, where it originated, maybe, anything at all…?

anita