Hi leke,

I have been through some of these experiences and understand how cumulatively they can lead to disappointment and isolation, and how this can happen multiple times in life. Bouncing back each time is taxing, I know :(.

Know that if you have not been following true intent you hold for yourself i.e. because you have not defined it, you are too scared or have low self worth – The effect is that it/you create ‘transience’ in your life manifested in many different forms, because you are never where you want to be, and meeting people that ‘travel in different directions’. This is daunting. You keep failing to find worth in self expressing and receiving positive validation. Hopefully meditation will help you with this, looking inward to move forward.

Know that we are all expressions of love! You express love and refer to ‘caring’ in your message here and ask for validation :). Even this website is an expression of love, do you see how?! You never stopped experiencing love! Observe it in everything around you and within you. You simply stopped perceiving it because you hold on to negative beliefs about yourself. Understand that ‘adults’ is a concept. It is not that you do not love humans, instead you reject what you fear and you project this onto adults. Your fear is shaping your reality. You have become afraid to self-express. You have become afraid to love. You have become afraid to be. Do not let those ghosts from the past get the better of you! Aim to express unlimitedly instead!

‘The now’ is forever becoming – and within ‘now’ we are always creating something new; the future. Keep questioning during each and every moment what you are creating for yourself – and question whether this actually aligns with your true intents? What are they? i.e. Your intent is to experience love but then you let fear block you. In other words, what you create for yourself is not aligned with your intent. Similarly, you may let others get the better of you, but your decisions that lead to this were also not aligned with your intent. and so on 🙂

You allude to love requiring interaction/intimacy, but love can be experienced in many other ways. Love is an action, which you can do alone or with others. You are never without love and within this you are never without another! I hope you continue to seek ways to express, heal and expand, and widen your perception. Maybe seek the parks and forests for the love and peace to can provide.
Hopefully one day soon you can be accepting of all and express love towards all again. I am sure there are many today that would be happy to express love for you, I do too with this message 🙂