You should have left him the moment he hit you. You are in an abusive relationship and staying with him isnt going to benefit you, your son or him. You said you took him to retreats for anger and it only worked for a short period of time then it came back, well if it came back then that means he needs to work on himself BY HIMSELF, you were doing your best as a spouse to try to help him get through whatever he was going through even though he was negitively effecting you. I know its going to be hard for your son to witness a divorce at such a young age . but it will benefit him in the long run, and he will then view you as a strong positive woman figure, rather than someone weak who was too afraid to stand up to their own problems. If you stay with your husband , your son might also develop abusive behaivoral issues in the future, thinking that its okay to hit women because his father did it, thats just how the mind works. I really hope that you do leave him, you dont deserve to be depressed, and the fact that youre writing on this forum asking strangers for help means you already know what to do… Please take care of yourself and your son, i wish you the absolute best, and i hope you make the right decision .