What I have discovered about myself is, I used to have feelings of embarrassment & shame when, I would try to discuss anything that I was feeling.My then friends, would either mock me, crack a joke or look at me as something was wrong with me. I spent years pretending to be someone I was not. After multiple drug treatments, I slowly begin to realize that there was a lot going that I was not aware of and had been living my life the only way I have ever known and there are people who I can be myself around. I have since begin to not care as much about what others think of me, after all we have only one life to live and I cannot waste any more time worrying so much about how others see me. Along this journey I have found that my past friends, (I still do talk with some of them) have changed as well and the ones who have not our conversions are usually kept to what they have been doing and I share with them how my life has changed.