Hi Anita,
Thanks for the insight. To be honest, I don’t want to do either. I just want to be heard. I tried for a month arguing with him for everything. To him this was normal and didn’t deplete his energy. If anything, I think he gets something out of arguing. For me, I was exhausted and wasted valuable energy that I could be using for friends and other family members. I get that arguments are healthy, but with him it’s power play. I want to have a relationship with him, especially now that he’s more stabler, but there’s a part of me that, like I said, still is flinching inside, ready for the verbal punch.