The Thinker,

The fact that your wife thinks she would be better off without kids may point to a trauma from long ago. I can tell you from experience. My folks did things that had me make a promise to myself at the age of eight…that I would never have kids. I didn’t want to put any other kid through what I had been through. As to never fighting…this is just an unrealistic fantasy. What I did do was marry my best friend. We took things slow to make sure we wanted the same things, share the same values, and can have each others’ backs when the going gets tough. Compromise is key as long as you don’t betray yourself. Betray yourself and things will unravel and the blame will fly. So be honest, and be interested in your wife’s interests. She needs to reciprocate the same. As long as you can do that, love will walk through fire without blinking. I can share my shadow days with my wife. Can you?

Perfect doesn’t exist. It’s only a road to frustration. The heart is fraught with faults and breaches of all kinds. The trick is to be able to share, help heal the faults, and lend support where you can.

Phil