Hi Leke,

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I can relate very much so to what you are saying. People have always considered me to be too nice, my kindness was always taken advantage of, and I found that “friends” weren’t really what friends ought to be. I also had a difficult adolescent with my family and a good period of depression in my early 20s.
What I first learned was to focus on loving myself. I started listening to positive affirmations everyday, I pursued hobbies I am passionate about, and I read many self help books to learn and open my understanding. I learned what boundaries are and how to put them up so that others could not take advantage of me and it has helped mend pain from my childhood. I think when you have a healthy understanding of relationships, you immediately will recognize another’s intent upfront.
I forgave those who had hurt me, I forgave myself, and like you I meditate, sage, and say thanks daily for those experiences as I would not be who I am today without them. I also learned how to let go. I can freely give the love I have in my heart, which I’m sure you can relate as it sounds like one of your gifts is love, to others without expecting anything in return. It isn’t easy, and not a quick fix but with clear intention to fully open yourself to source and that incredible energy, you will find yourself not holding on so tightly but reveling in each moment.