Hi Leke,

That is very wise to focus on kindness-love during meditation. I might be all over the place here so I will apologize in advance. I can only offer the advice of what I feel, so please do not feel my way is the right way. What is your main focus when you meditate? Are you listening to anything? Are you counting your breathes, inhaling positive thoughts and feelings, and exhaling the negative? Do you use any crystals or rocks during? Do you sage prior and after? Do you invision yourself covered with light around and through you? I like incorporating the last few as I notice a dramatic difference when I do. I think you need to adapt the “letting go” mantra into everything, not just meditation. For example, say a negative response pops up when you recall a memory that was a happy time, but that person is no longer here and was a painful loss. Tell yourself to let go, breath, and then focus on the positive. Say someone has said something hurtful about you, replace that thought with one that you believe is good about you. Maybe you become frustrated with something not working or moving at the pace you want, tell yourself to let go. Have you had experiences in life where you did let go and everything fell into place? As you are saying about resentment and these relationships, are these the kind you want to have where your opinion is ignored? Start projecting to the universe what you do want in your friendships and relationships and then let go and let it happen.

I am not sure the basis of your spirituality, mine is faith based. That was my source of love. Each day I wake up and start my mindset with thanks and love and it helped greatly during my depression. I love that I have another day of perfect health and that I am who I am and for all of the hardship I had to go through, as I feel there is a purpose for it. Believe that in yourself too. Feel your purpose. You can say this to the universe, and even though you may not feel it, in time after repetition you will the light shine in you. Focus each day on loving yourself. Louise Hay has great positive affirmations, as well as Wayne Dwyer and I would recommend them.

For boundaries, setting them has now allowed to have my family in my life and has created the healthiest of relationships that could be cultivated. A synopsis is that my family is very self-destructive and full of drama. I was manipulated a lot by them, I normally was the one hurt in the end and blamed for any personal issues that they were going through. I too wrote some of my family members letters but never gave them to them, and I allowed myself to grieve the loss of what I wanted or thought that relationship could have ever been. I forgave them for all of the hurt and pain, and I thanked them because I am a strong person for it. Allow yourself to really feel that and for me, I now know any interaction with them hopefully benefits them in some way. And don’t stop the process because you will not fully move on from it if you don’t. I’ve seen it with others. The book I read on setting boundaries is faith based- Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. That is great you can wish them love as well, do you feel that you are though? Can you send them love now?

Really great to share with you and your words have touched a part of my heart. I love to learn and share with others, as life is so much more meaningful when you do. Best wishes.