Andy,

When I read your post, I decided to register for this site because I just had to reply. I know how you feel, man. It hurts like hell, doesn’t it? You feel overwhelmed, like you’re being crushed by the weight of it all, and all you want is for the pain to go away.

Forgive me if I’m wrong, but it sounds to me like your emotions have gotten the better of you — you’ve let your emotions be in control instead of your rational mind. You “feel” like disappearing, you “feel” like you’re only going backwards, you “feel” like you can’t make it. But feelings aren’t facts, my friend. You’ve mistaken them for The Truth. The truth is, you are making it because you’re still here. The truth is, you are going forward because you reached out to everyone here. That’s a sign of progress. And the truth is, you don’t really want to disappear because if you really, truly did, you’d have been long gone by now. So challenge your feelings. Just because something feels a certain way does not mean it truly is that way.

If you are seriously feeling like hurting yourself though, please call someone to help you get help, or go for help yourself. The pain of a breakup has pushed me to the point of suicide before, and I had to ask for help. I sought out a therapist who helped me understand that a part of me was almost (but not quite) mortally hurt by the breakup, but that if I gave that part time to grieve and to heal, and if I accepted that part of me for what it was — a very lonely part that wanted a meaningful relationship more than anything else in the world, eventually the suffering would disappear and the pain would lessen. And it did. And I’m still here.

You’ll make it, Andy. Hang in there.

Everytime that you have been helpless and hopeless, you have survived.