Dear Kirty:

I went back in records and read some of your posts from 2013 so to get a better understanding of your struggle. This is my input based on my understanding of your posts of over two years ago:

Life cannot be solved by an intellectual understanding. Once you do understand something, you go: Ahhh! I see! And you feel calm and elated by the new understanding, because it is correct understanding. Problem is such an understanding can only take you so far in the journey of healing and learning. It can take you so far and then you are back where you were before. Same with exercise and meditation and all the things that worked for you in the past: they only carry you so far in the journey that needs to be taken. It carries you for a distance, you feel calm, “problems solved”- “from now on everything will be fine because I got it!”

But then you are back where you started and even more frustrated because nothing works long term…

Except that there is a way long term, only most people who get on it don’t stay on it because of a misunderstanding. The misunderstanding is, as I see it, that logical understanding of something is enough. It is not.

Emotions, Energy-in-Motion are very powerful. In the animal kingdom, instincts and emotions are what drive animals to do what they do. First there is an emotion, then they react to it. They don’t think, they react.

But… we are animals too. Primarily we are motivated by instincts and emotions, no difference. We are not motivated by thoughts, but by emotions. When you have a thinking-understanding you feel good, you have an emotion that carries you ahead on that healing path. But there is MORE understanding that needs to take place for you to continue on the path and it is a combination of thinking-understanding AND emotional-understanding.

Did you attempt psychotherapy? If you did, I have no doubt you either didn’t stay long enough in it or the therapist was not competent, caring and hard working (as is often enough the case, unfortunately).

anita