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Dear Phenixx:
Yes, it is possible to heal from such an incredibly difficult childhood of neglect, abuse and chaos. It is possible through a process that I believe will require psychotherapy with a competent, caring, hard working psychotherapist like the one I had, finally, five years ago.
There are different areas to the healing: there is the need to stop destructive habits. This can be done in the context of self help groups such as 12 step groups, AA (the original 12 step group) and those adopting the AA format (ACA for example, if it still exists, stands fro Adult Children of Alcoholics and is a 12 step program).
Then there is a need to learn skills such as calming yourself when overwhelmed. It is also called emotional regulation, enduring strong feelings without automatically reacting to them. Attending slow yoga class, Tai Chi, guided meditation sessions.. these can help in this regard as well as aerobic exercise, and distractions such as taking a walk, a hot bath, etc.
And there is insight into the past and your current relationships with family members, limiting or ending those.
Please do let me know if you need any more of my input and take good care of yourself!
anita