Dear zenstrawberry:

Well, if you’d like, we can work on it here. Just a little, that is.

It is very common to squash down what hurts. Everyone does it, including your ex boyfriend. In relationship with you, maybe he was more open and capable to bring up and deal with those internal issues, as you call them. Maybe he was comfortable with some issues … but I won’t be surprised if there were no issues that he would be very sensitive about and refuse to bring up!

Those “internal issues” that were brought up in relationship with him, you can bring them up here, with me, if you’d like. These issues existed before you met him. They were just brought up in the relationship with him. And maybe once they were brought up, they unsettled you and you are not the same as before. Not content and hopeful as before. These issues may be pushing themselves into your awareness by triggering the distress you are experiencing, demanding that you deal with them.

You know what those issues were, that were brought up, the issues you squashed down. If they are intense, you might want to attend a competent, caring and hard working psychotherapist to explore them. And/ or you might want to share some here, as you are comfortable with. I will not negatively criticize you, therefore I consider myself safe as one to reply to your sharing, if you do choose to share.

anita