Dear Karene:

When you started to lose weight and exercise as a result of his attention to you at work, that was a good thing for you. It means to me that you like getting positive attention from a person, from a man. You very much like to feel special in the mind of a man. This is not… uncommon, I mean, who doesn’t?

Feeling you are special to someone motivated you to effortlessly, almost, lose 30 kg. This means feeling special to someone means a whole lot to you.

And then you noticed things and you realize you are not special to him, not at all like you believed earlier. And I agree, from your post, it is true: you are not special to him like you thought you were.

But it is also true: you still want to be special to someone, very special.

He places himself inside photos of pretty blond women on his FB page, together with romantic pictures and songs, following those blond friends who do not follow him back- this means to me that he lives in fantasy.

When you try to fit his idea of female beauty, you are trying to enter his fantasy, his psychosis.

Better stay in reality, keep your weight loss, keep exercising and find the man who sees you as the special person that you are (not only by physical appearance!) in reality, not fantasy.

anita