Dear Stasia:

You are a grieving mother. You are also very angry. You don’t want to “rip her to shreds with your words”-

You want to walk away, ignore her (like your husband does).. maybe you want your husband to confront her… and you don’t want her to complain to your parents-in-law so that they don’t get hurt.

Like I wrote before, I think you need to confront her very soon, with strong language, maybe not in person, if you don’t trust yourself to be in control of what you say and do, but on paper. Write it like-it-is. And give that paper, copies of it, to her, to your husband, to all who may be concerned. Do not “play nice” – and do not literally rip her to shreds. Take the middle way: assert yourself 100%.

anita