I am in a similar situation. I had been friends with a woman for 38 years and posted something on Facebook which threw her ego over the edge. She had posted a quote that basically said, “I don’t care what colour your skin is, if you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you.” Knowing that she “doesn’t care for the lifestyle” of our indigenous people and that they are “not her favourite people”, even though she is not acquainted with any, I asked if this included indigenous people and she was horrified that I had posted that in a public place to “humiliate her in front of her friends by divulging her private thoughts”. I ended up calling her a hypocrite and that was the end of that. Bad feelings had been building up for over a year due to what I saw as unhealthy selfish behaviour. She once commented that she thought the people in France would (and should) speak more English. We were travelling there together at the time. She also couldn’t understand why some of her friends wouldn’t be voting the way she thought they should. Her personal selfish habits were also getting on my nerves so when she reamed me out in a follow-up email and said that “Our friendship has been irreparably damaged. The hurt and disappointment you’ve caused will take a long time to heal so for now it would be best to cease contact”, I thanked her for her friendship over the years and said goodbye, not just “for now” but forever. I felt relieved that it was over but I also feel sad at times. At one time I thought she was a good soul, and reasonably intelligent, but came to realize that all the good things she does are only in the interest of garnering a favourable response from her friends and fishing for compliments. The image she works so hard to create for others to see means everything to her. But it is not who she is.

I am wondering if I should have kept this to myself and just dropped her as a friend (although I think she was in the process of dropping me because I was beginning to criticize her selfishness)? I sometimes want to write to her and list her “sins” as a friend. I am working at having no feelings about her at all but so far I feel anger, disappointment and sadness.