Dear serenity:

I re-read all your posts on this thread. One thing that sticks in my mind is that you miss those chilling times, you called them, in the evenings, being in your pajamas and drinking wine, with him. You wrote that in the evenings you get most lonely.

I wonder if you can make your next evening special, without him in it. If you can get into your pajamas, drink a glass of wine, listen to your favorite music… even talk to yourself.

Become your best friend this evening, be there with you, tend to yourself, be good to you… when you feel scared, comfort yourself as if you were talking to a scared best friend. When you feel lonely, put your arms around yourself and again, comfort yourself. Kind of having a relaxing date with yourself…?

And I am glad you came back to this thread. Whatever positive attention, empathy you can get, do reach out for it.

You are not alone in your loneliness, in your desire to love and be loved. And there is hope for you to love and be loved by a man. This ex boyfriend of 1.5 years, unfortunately- although you had good times together- is into living with his mother in the foreseeable future. It looks like he doesn’t even see the two of you in his future and did not see the two of you in his future other than the way it was.

A date with yourself this evening?

anita