Dear anxiousangel:

Thank you for making it a bit easier for me to understand. So, I will check with you if I understand, is the following correct? If not correct me:

You no longer care about your background, that is, your father’s profession, the social status you were born into. What you care about is the social status you achieve. In other words, social status is still what you care about most.

“Social status” means what other people are thinking about you, who they think you are. It is important to you that other people think you are worthy and in your communications with other people you, now habitually, focus on managing information so to achieve your desired result: being thought worthy by others.

In your pursuit of being thought very well of, you divorced yourself from your authenticity, put it aside as not important, and you say and behave in any which way so to be thought well of. Your social identity (how other people see you) suffocated your personal identity (your authenticity).

Regardless of the success- or lack of success- of these efforts, you are miserable without your authenticity.

Is that correct?

anita