Dear anxiousangel:

A competent, caring and hard working psychotherapist is the best way to go. Not too many of those though. But yes, one like that, definitely. When you wrote “help me with that”- did you mean you want me to help you with it?

If so, there is a way to start. It is called Mindfulness and that is the first thing my competent, caring and hard working psychotherapist taught me: mindfulness. It is a practice that takes time, where you … I’ll put it my way:

I used to be this huge “floating head” thinking, analyzing so much, that my head was like this giant balloon, only heavy. I was hardly aware that this giant, heavy balloon was attached to a body. I was anxious and distressed much of the time, not aware what it was that was distressing me… I was aware of being in pain, but there was so much, so much fear, hurt, rage, it was too much to see into.

To be able to have that emotional understanding takes you being able to shrink that head, and take the elevator down from your huge head to the body. And over time, to distinctly recognize a particular emotion in all that mess of distress.

So, to start with mindfulness, outside psychotherapy where you will learn that, there are the guided meditation, yoga (slow, mindful movements), Tai Chi (again, slow, mindful movements)… deep, slow breathing- very important. What would be the easiest for you of these options (or another that comes to mind?)

* Here is an exercise: stand up, take a few slow, deep breaths, look at your hands and slowly close your hands into gentle fists, then spread your fingers, opening your hands. Breathe and look at your hands, closing and opening very slowly.

Tell me how that went.

anita