I think that is a very valid way to think about my anger. I have only begun to really understand it.

The cycle had been a loosely defined relationship where I was ultimately isolated from his social world. He didn’t mention he had a girlfriend(s) and just led me on to believe there was a future, when clearly there was not. We grew up and were in love had the same friends for years, that fire never burned out, but after moving to New York City (unrelated to him but he was there), he began this selfish behavior. The hurt and shame that I experienced were things I consciously worked through and I fully got over the pain. Forgiveness, and insert the initial post.

That message in my head, you mention… that’s my Best friend and everyone else from home too. Recently I have accepted that I am a classic case of someone with abandonment issues, although nothing of major trauma. And you are correct, I should have no contact with him.

Interestingly enough the woman he just got after abandoning me with “i don’t deserve to be in your life. im not okay enough to be in a relationship right now”, well she’s a PsyD. so all I can hope for is he finds the forgiveness for himself.