You are right regarding that, Anita. It’s true that the way I grew up, being confined and under much restrictions, developed this attitude in me without my conscious knowing. It might even be genetic as some of my family members have been known to act this way. But what’s done, is done. I can try to avoid being controlled now, but I don’t know how to eliminate my temper, intentionally misconstruing others’ words to be offended and such awful attitude. Like if Jerry said, “I don’t like you behaving like this”, I could’ve agreed and tried to change instead of taking it as a slight on my ego.

I wish to do my best to change myself for the better, at least sufficiently not to let anybody else be hurt due to me, and my relationships not be harmed. I also am at a loss for how to reunite with Jerry, to make up for hurting her and letting her know I truly do care for her, am willing to change myself for her.