Dear Ravi:

The anger in you, triggered like it has been, that anger to weaken needs to be acknowledged, understood… respected. If you condemn your anger as something bad that needs to be eliminated, it is not going to work. There are two things here:

1. Controlling the expression of your anger, your behavior when angry at another, controlling what you say and do to another. Not abusing another when you are angry, that cannot wait for until you heal, until you look into the past and heal. This has to be done now and there are techniques to do that.

2. While you are doing #1, you do need to look into the past, like I wrote in my previous post to you. You need to do that so to weaken that powerful energy of anger that gets triggered in you.

To do # 2, best is to do so in competent psychotherapy. I don’t know if such can be available to you. There is this protection of parents (and their parents, grandparents, that is) in society, not only in India but everywhere and many psychotherapists do that too, and so they are of little to no help.

When you protect parents by denying they harmed you, the price paid for doing that is that you make it impossible for you to heal. To keep seeing the parents (and grandmother in your case) as all good and loving, you have to see yourself as the bad and faulty one. Not only that, but you pass on the harm to innocent bystandards (like Jerry) and worse, to the innocent children you may have one day.

If you would like to work on #1 and/ or #2, let me know.

anita