Dear Ravi:

I understand now the part your “friend” shared with her some time ago, that the communication shared was not you being angry, but you having feelings for Jerry beyond brother-sister feelings.

There are a few issues here that need to be separated.
1) Your uncontrolled, abusive expressions of anger toward her (and to her about others)
2) The fact that this relationship with Jerry, as a hoped for romantic relationship, or girlfriend/ boyfriend relationship has been, from the beginning, very unlikely and remains unlikely… even if #1 did not exist as a problem! The most you could have had with Jerry was a sisterly- brotherly relationship, that is what it was. And even though it seems to me that there was more, much more, what was is all she has ever felt willing and capable of having with you.

In other words, no matter how calm and loving you would have been, no matter if you were never expressed anger at her inappropriately… no matter, there could not be a relationship with her beyond what was. I write that because she told you so. She told you the consequences for her would be terrible. She didn’t even want to talk to you on the phone, saying the reason she talked to you on the phone was that it was costing you money.

So all hoped for relationship with her can only be online/ through texting.

And then, being the scared 20 year old very young woman that she is, her parents will probably want her to get married soon enough and she will accommodate. She is too scared and too obedient to refuse such.

Again, I do believe there was real love on her part toward you for a long time, and that it was- for her (!) beyond a sister- brother love: it was simply love. But at the same time, there is no future for this love beyond online and texting and that may stop- even if you were a perfect human being- when she gets married to whom her parents want her to marry.

Isn’t it so?

anita