and I was trying to simplify it.

We met when I was a freshman playing travel soccer with his sister at separate schools,. He was 1 year older and her ride to practice, like every day and weekend. They were a family of 6 and his youngest sister (by 8 years) is his best friend here in New York.

From 16-20something we had the same friends from home, we ended up at the same partied, and we ended up with each other at the end of the night. We lived apart but stayed in contact as genuine friends, but I was living around the country with a long term boyfruend for my studies and career. To note, I never cheated on my long term relationships with this person.
at 25 newly single, 2 years after my mom died, and fresh out of grad school, I ended up in NYC where he already was/had been since 18 in college.

In New York, for 10 years n New York now, We are both 35. At first I was still dealing with my Mom so not interested in a relationship. He was into partying, socializing, and he had a girlfriend the first 3 years, but I only heard about her later when my friend warned me. It happened again, but at that point we were not sexually active (boundary established).

In New York I never was introduced to any of his friends. at first it was because I was the ‘other woman’, but then it continued for those 10 years. I only met his roommates, who kept his ‘dirty little secret’.

6 years ago his 8 year younger sister, his best friend, not the one I played soccer with at 15, moved to New York. They had a great time and shared friends, but he never involved me in her life. The last time I saw her, was sneaking around her when I was 18 back home.

he only communicated with me through email the whole time. With or without a girlfriend constantly. His social life is an escape from a boring finance job, which pays well, but is ultimately boring.