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Reply To: Difficult and Non-Compassionate Mother

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#99588
El
Participant

Hi Tugalie:

I would first like to start by telling you this post broke my heart. In some cases I can relate, and I can explain how.

The difference between me and you is my mother and I have always been very close. However, I also suffered through mental abuse just like you. But the situations were very different. She’d never wish for another child, but she would do some damaging things.

My mom is a very good person, but she made some very bad mistakes. Growing up, I knew everything bad my mom did and she forced me to lie to my dad and keep secrets. She black mailed me as I became a teenager. She stole from me and stuff like that. Finally, my parents got a divorce a couple months ago. My mom lost her mind and become an extreme alcoholic. She used my mental disorder (Bipolar 2) against me saying that I do not understand because I’m bipolar. Shed use it constantly against me making me feel like shit about a disease that I can’t control. She would also threaten me and make me feel so guilty for things that I never did wrong. She even faked a suicide attempt which caused me to have acute PTSD for a short period of time.

Although I love my mother very dearly, I had to make a decision. After going through a lot of therapy, I realized how much damage my mother actually caused in my life. I never noticed it until then. I made the decision to take care of myself. That meant cutting her out. I live with my father, but I still have contact with her. However, as soon as the negativity starts, I shut her out. I have become a much happier person since then.

Trust me, she will not hurt herself. It is just a threat. I can say that most mental illnesses are genetic. You may have received it from her but the chances of her owning up to her problems are very slim.

Some things I need to know are the same questions the person above asked so we can figure out how to work this out together!