Dear flyby:

Regarding your last point: if it is possible for people who treat (you/ me/ another) poorly to “let go of all that guilt”-

This is my experience and understanding: when a person, X, does not value Y, thing, animal or person, X feels no guilt over treating Y poorly. When you, flyby, don’t value a piece of cake, maybe because it is old or unhealthy, then you will throw it in the garbage. On the other hand, if someone you really like gave you a freshly made piece of cake, a small piece made with care, you won’t throw it in the garbage, would you? Once you threw the first piece of cake in the garbage, you are not likely to feel guilt. But if by accident the second piece of cake falls to the ground and gets mixed with dirt, you will feel guilty or badly. Because you valued the second piece of cake.

Same with people. If X values Y, and treats Y poorly, becoming aware of the treatment later, then X will feel guilty. If X doesn’t value Y, and treats Y poorly, well… it is what you do when you don’t value something.

Only more …evolved, decent people understand that people have inherent value, a humane worth that shouldn’t be disrespected. For a whole lot of people, this is not so.

Whenever X hurts Y intentionally- or unintentionally but repeatedly, not paying attention to Y hurting- it means X does not value Y.

Regarding earlier points in your last post, later perhaps. For now, what do you think about what I wrote so far here?

anita