Dear Kirty:

I read your latest post and then went back to your original post: all the questions there. As I read your first question, I answered in my mind: “fear.” I read the next question and my answer again was “fear.” Same answer to the next and next question and then I gave up and didn’t read all the questions. I think that your talk in your last post, about dissociation caught my mind. I lived that way most of my life, caught up in a big, inflated balloon like head, thinking, thinking and then… thinking some more. Anxious, irritated, angry, depressed, but not aware of finer emotions. I lived under the exhausting state of being in emotional storms without being able to pick up on individual winds, individual elements of the weather.

Fear is the reason. To develop a faith in yourself to be strong enough to live with fear, long enough psychotherapy with a competent, caring and hard working therapist will help, a lot. Then in between sessions, or outside psychotherapy, now, you can exercise, practice tools you learned already in therapy, look into what you did learn, those Aha moments. And practice, in small ways, what you learned. Through practice, you get to see what is next for you to do.

Please post again…

anita