Hello everyone.

I just wanted to let you guys know that I did it. Three days ago, she called me up and I found that I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I told her that I wanted out and that it isn’t working out because it wasn’t fair to the both of us. I felt that her anger was getting too much to bear, and I know that she has been giving much more than what I was giving into the relationship. She felt hurt, and I felt hurt, and after a long time of arguments and fights, I felt like I had to end it. As expected, she took it hard. She has been crying herself to sleep everyday, she feels lonely and abandoned, and she feels like she’s been betrayed with all the hopes and the promises gone. She thought that I would keep my promise that I would always stay, she had faith that we would always be together, and that I would never give up on her. She felt like I became one of those people who got up and left when they had enough. She felt like love was always trying to fix something till it bled you dry, to give till it bled you dry. While I agree to those to some extent, I just really felt that some things couldn’t be fixed, and that some things you just had to do on your own. She said that she would always keep hoping for me to come back, and that she would never get over me and that she would always love me. I understand that love goes beyond the bounds of the relationship, and in that way I could say that I would always love her too. She kept reading all those letters we exchanged, those promises that we made together and dwelled on them. She felt like I had changed, and that I had given up so easily. I couldn’t help but cry when I heard these things, I couldn’t help but kill myself over how she was feeling, how she put everything into the relationship only to have it end like that. It depressed me that all those dreams and promises are now gone, but I felt I did the right thing. I just kept on thinking to myself that she deserved someone better, someone that would love her the way she wanted to be loved, someone who was sure, someone who treated her fairly and gave her what she wanted. Not some guy who disappointed her and got her hopes up all the time, not me.

I just get so confused about how this is supposed to be and I would like some enlightenment. Was this an act of love? Was my leaving because I did not want the both of us to hurt each other so badly anymore an act of love? My inner voice tells me that it is, but I don’t know if that’s just me reasoning or deluding myself into believing it.

Also (another thing entirely that I would like some advice with), at the end of our phone call, I hear her mom knocking loudly and shouting at her that her dad was waiting so long for her to come down to the table and eat for lunch. The mom was scolding her for making the dad wait so long because of the phone call we were having. The parents were oblivious to the fact that their daughter was depressed, and just had her heart severely broken. This kind of thing has been going on for as long as I remember (since childhood I believe, as she had told me). The obvious neglect of the parents to the depression makes me very angry because of the pain and the trauma it has caused the girl. I find myself wanting to go up to them and raging at them, telling them how badly they’ve treated their daughter, but I don’t think that’s the best solution. If you guys have any input on this, it would be very much appreciated, please. I know that I have just broken up with this girl, but I can’t shrug the willingness and the wanting to help.

Thank you for your time. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m complaining and such.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by Life Seeker.