@Jade

I know where you’re coming from, as my friend has depression too. Only, when I told my friend I needed myself as well and that I had needs too, my friend did not take it too well and got angry with me. Nowadays, I usually stay silent and keep a strong stance when my friend tells me off and goes on with the sarcasm and the anger, keeping in mind that perhaps this is because of the depression and the numerous traumas experienced in the past. It wasn’t always like this though, as I used to weep profusely whenever this happened because I took it very personally. I’ve grown harder since that time, and I’m not sure if that is good or bad because I’ve either grown stronger or more numb. Like you, I found the depression contagious as well, that is why I am trying to set-up my boundaries and reinforcing them.

@BuddhistWife

Thank you for your very detailed reply! I cannot tell you how relieved I am just by reading it.

Yes, you are exactly right. I feel that my friend has extremely unreasonable demands and expectations, even though I think my friend feels like it’s a very small request.

I have told my friend exactly what you have said many times before, that I do care and that I want this person to be happy, but I have my limits and I cannot go on and on for so long anymore and that I needed myself as well. Needless to say, this person became very bitter and angry towards me, often saying that I am making this person a placeholder, a chore in the time between dinner and sleep, and that I only accommodate this person only when it’s “convenient” for me, like an office meeting or so and when the time is up, that’s it, I leave this person hanging and feeling abandoned. I have always tried to stick with I position, but in the end it makes me feel very sad and guilty whenever my friend says these things.

The reason why this person has such a hold on my is because this person was my first ever friend in college. This person has taught me a lot of meaningful things, and is very fun to be with when not in…this state. This person means a lot to me, and I do try my best to be there when I can. I know this person cares for me very much as well, but like you said, the expectations and demands are extremely unreasonable, it’s become very overwhelming.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by Life Seeker.