Dear jim:

The 30 day rule makes me think of addiction, like not drinking for 30 days and the cravings should weaken…I suppose during those thirty days though it is a good idea to do something new or calming so to distract yourself from the thoughts. Something new, to take your mind away, just for five minutes to start, then longer…

anita

Dear jim:

I thought about it after I wrote to you above, about comparing the 30 days rule to AA rules about abstaining from alcohol. The way it works at AA is people abstain from alcohol but they are not supposed to sit at home (and think about drinking, trying real hard to not drink)- what they are supposed to do is to attend many AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings, share there, socialize, get a sponsor and “work the program”- all this as a substitute for drinking: doing all these things in place of drinking and going to AA meetings instead of going to a bar (or sitting at home).

Then I thought of a program that copies the AA for people addicted to other people, that is people in codependent relationships or people after a co dependent relationship who can’t stop thinking about the ex girlfriend or boyfriend… like you? They have online chat rooms, if you google Codependent Anonymous and used to have meetings like AA. Maybe you should work that program while you abstain from alcohol… I mean abstain from her!

anita