Hi everyone!

Whenever I have trouble having peace of mind, Tiny Buddha always seems to help me. I am currently going through a personal experience that is giving me a hard time.

After a breakup, my friends encouraged me to go on a date with a 23 year old I met online. My ex and I had ended our 3 year long relationship in a friendly mutual way, but it had been only a month. I decided to go out with this guy because I didn’t expect anything to come out of it, I only expected a fun evening and that was it. The date went great, and I saw him the next day, and the next, and the next. About a month or so after we started going out, and after a fight we had because he stood me up, he asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship with him. I felt like it was too soon for me, but instead of saying so, I only replied ambiguously, which was as good as a yes to him. I know it’s my own fault, I should have been more honest with him, but what’s done is done.

Being in a relationship with him made me expect more time spent together. I can make time and am flexible with my schedule in general because I am a student. He, on the other hand works in a very demanding field, and sometimes gets off work at 3 in the morning or midnight for example. He sometimes has no idea of when he’ll get off work, which made coordinating our dates/meet ups a little difficult.

Me being a student, I am usually out at night with my friends, some weekdays and weekends. We have dinners, parties and get together to have some wine regularly. While out with my friends, I was often on my phone trying to coordinate my meetings with my boyfriend. Because I was drunk, several times I ended up causing fights and trouble between us, for literally no reason. He decided to break things off with me after one of these fights. In my defense, he had said he was only available to meet me that day before I left during the holiday break. I was trying to coordinate with him and he replied he preferred to go home and sleep. I responded with a hurtful tangent, and two days later he broke up with me.

During our breakup, I was too stunned to say anything, and only said I understood and that he was right to break things off between us. I now feel like I have a lot of things to say to him, and can only think of improving myself, and getting in touch with my inner self (less distracted with going out and parties), in order to be a happier person. I am saddened to think that I needed this breakup in order to realize that the choices I was making and my priorities were not in the right place. I am sad it cost me a lovely man who was indeed very patient and cared about me.

I know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and know I will survive this breakup. But even though we only went out for two months, I would like to have a second chance to make this work.

Do you think I might have a shot? How do you get someone back after having shown the worst aspects of your being? After having lacked comprehension and kindness?

Thanks for your help <3