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Arrogance, Taken for Granted, Ego – Destroyed my life

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • August 20, 2018 at 8:42 am #222167
    Balakumar
    Participant

    Abusive due to not meeting expectations, Arrogance towards wife,  not valuing and giving respect, Things taken for granted has made life miserable.

    She left few years ago.  I am getting paid back for all my dues ( karma ) and finding difficult to accept this current situation.

    How long i have to suffer, this question lead me to anxiety disorder,  feeling shame to mingle with the society leads me to depression, then frustration.

    I strongly believe that every problem has an end. I am male 39, I am a father of 10 yr old daughter, She doesn’t call me Dad , this gives me more pain.

    When I look at the society with full of family, then a sort of complex and guiltiness makes me to run away from this world.

    Now the answer looking for is,  How do i maintain patience, How do I accept my current situation and move on to next phase of life.

    August 20, 2018 at 11:27 am #222219
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Balakumar:

    “How long I have to suffer”, you asked. Just long enough for you to correct the behaviors on your part that need correcting, only until then. Do all you can do now to do no harm to others, to treat others with respect while seeing to it the best you can, that others do you no harm and treat you respectfully.

    Be a good father to your daughter, never aggressive to her, no matter what.

    Why is it that she doesn’t call you dad?

    anita

    August 20, 2018 at 11:28 am #222223
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * didn’t reflect under Topics

    August 20, 2018 at 1:03 pm #222245
    Bart
    Participant

    The fact that you feel guilty prooves that you are human, capable of admitting being wrong, talking responsibility, wanting to set things right. Indeed the feeling is there as long as it takes to pay for the built up ‘debt’. One day you will look back and see that all that is, all that was, had to be that way. You will be at peace. Please love your daughter as much as you can. She will feel it, even if she doesn’t show.

    August 24, 2018 at 5:04 pm #222931
    Balakumar
    Participant

    She is a small girl and also witnessed my aggressive part when she was with me and she was told and convinced that she should stop calling me dad which she said herself during our one to one conversation

    August 24, 2018 at 5:04 pm #222933
    Balakumar
    Participant

    Hi Bart, Thanks for your good words

    August 24, 2018 at 5:05 pm #222935
    Balakumar
    Participant

    Hi Anita , thanks for your realistic reply

    August 25, 2018 at 6:20 am #222973
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Balakumar:

    You are welcome. Do correct your relationship with your daughter best you can, do all you can do for that aim. Never again aggression with her or in her presence, none of any kind, no matter what.

    When in your presence, make sure that safety is what you offer her. No matter how she addresses you (not calling you dad), no matter if she is angry, no matter what she says, no matter if she raises her voice at you- do not raise yours.

    If she yells at you, let’s say, leave if you need to, but don’t yell back, and do not display any aggression toward her, directly or indirectly.

    If you do that, you will be doing more for your child than millions of parents out there are doing. A sad reality.

    anita

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