Home→Forums→Relationships→Bad news after 10 years
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September 25, 2013 at 6:15 am #42757BrianParticipant
My wife and I just recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary with a trip to Mexico. We took the trip partly because she needed to reconnect with me. Instead of reconnecting on the trip we spent most of the time drinking and partying like rock stars with other people we met. We did have a couple of deep conversations about our relationship, a couple of arguments, lots of sex, and then when we got back she just told me that she wasn’t attracted to me any more and that I didn’t make her happy. I was blown away! I though we had a pretty good relationship, we’ve been having regular sex, minus kissing, and in general we get along pretty well. Don’t get me wrong we still fight now and then but it’s usually over stupid stuff. I’m totally in love with her and our two daughter 6 & 8. We just got back from our trip 3 days ago and she asked if I could stay at my moms for a while. She’s telling me that I’m her best friend and the she loves me deeply, but she’s just not into me. We have both adamantly stated that we have been faithful throughout our relationship. I do believe her when she says this. She’s also told me that I’m not a positive happy person in general, which I agree with, but I’m also not a bad guy more like a serious realist, I’m just not the funny happy bubbly type of person she tends to surround herself with. She’s told me that she’s just exhausted, doesn’t want to keep doing this right now, and needs space and time to talk to a counselor about how to work things out and be happy again. I’ve also agreed to talk to a counselor about my issues and becoming a better person. We have also both agreed to go to marriage counseling together. Right now my family doesn’t know and her family is in complete shock and they have all reached out to me to make sure I’m OK. I don’t have a large support network only a few close friends that are also close friends of my wife. I’m absolutely lost! I’ve been reading things on the internet for days trying to figure out a solution. She says she will fight, but she’s also said “I guess mainly it’s the attraction thing. I worry about that with us because it has seemed one sided for a loooong time. I don’t know how to fix it, particularly because you are very handsome and look the best you ever have. I don’t know what the deal is. Surely it’s me.” I know I can work on being more positive and happy, which I know is something I seriously need to work on, but thats also not an easy fix. Any thoughts or suggestions? I really want to rekindle things with her but it seems so lopsided.
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